My fiancé (henceforth referred to as “A”) is on vacation with his entire family in Boston this week – a nice little break before school starts back. He lives with his sister and brother-in-law in a big old house about 2 miles away from my house- so it is always fun family time- and they have an adorable dog who we will call Fluffer for the sake of keeping her true identity private. Generally when they go on vacation I house and dog sit for them- usually really fun but sometimes disastrous…like last Christmas…but that is another story for another time.
So. Yesterday morning I went over to the house to let Fluffer out and feed her and play a bit before work. I made myself a little cup of coffee and sat on the porch while Fluffer played in the front yard and got some energy out. Then it was time to go to work so put her inside, locked up and was on my way. Around 4:30 I left work and returned to the house, all geared up to take the pup on a nice ling walk and then read my book for book club… but it never works out so easily, does it? As soon as I walked in the house I noticed something was awry. It smelled like vomit and fish and it was about 90 degrees in the house (they had turned off the ac to save power). So I went about inspecting the house. The first thing I noticed was a rug in A’s bathroom torn to tiny shreds. Then I followed my nose into A’s bedroom to find a huge pile of doggie vomit all over A’s school books and binders…and shoes…and carpet. So I called A and left a message about the unfortunate incident and then got to cleaning. As I went upstairs to get some supplies, I noticed some Fluffer paw prints at the top of the stairs…then I followed them into the kitchen to find a big pile of poop. Then I followed them from that pile to another puddle in the living room…
It was at this point I realized that the puddle in A’s room and the puddle in the living room was, in fact, not vomit, but doggie diarrhea. At this point I just accepted the fact that I was going to be cleaning all night, so I set to work. It wasn’t 10 minutes before I stood up from cleaning the floor and saw a giant poop explosion on the Pottery Barn sofa in the living room. The beautiful mint green sofa looked like it had been paint balled with diarrhea.
I got some towels and oxyclean and went to work. I decided to go back down to A’s room while the Oxyclean (miracle worker) settled into the poop stain and it was then that I found the poop puddle in A’s bed and all over the curtains. The white curtains. And yes, you read that correctly…Fluffer had diarrhea IN my fiancé’s bed.
A few loads of laundry and an entire swiffer mop pack later, I was showering the residual poop off of my arms and legs.
Today I am going to give Fluffer a nice long bath…her whole body is covered in her own poop…so that is the post-work project for today. House sitting….